January... PEACE FOR THE NEW YEAR

Magnifique village de Drôme - Mirmande

First week back into the routine.
It was a good week on a personal and family level.
There was happiness because it's galette des rois and we celebrated our anniversary. Mael is loving and caring and doing very well. Communicating more and better. Maceo is funny. He is caring too and is entering a new phase of resistance... and I have to remind Mael and ourselves that he is 2 and half.
It was difficult and emotional on a world wide and personal level. And I have spent way too much time on Facebook and the internet on general because of it.
It was productive on some levels.

I have made a couple decisions and because things happened naturally, I won't call them "resolutions" even though it looks like it is...

I will accomplish one thing a day that has to do with my personal projects. I have done so naturally but some days, it would not happened and I will make sure it does.

Because of the events, and going back into routine after almost no internet or media during the vacation, I have decided to not go on Facebook for a while except to post this blog thingy.

I started the week with an hour of exercise with Aude on Monday morning. (Maybe 45 minutes because of giggles...) which should become a recurrent thing.

I am spending the time away from Grenoble, in the mountain, with Aude to work on our project. There will be writing and creativity but also, I am sure, some giggles...

I will be going to my monthly Dance Workshop, my weekly Feldenkrais class and a Slam Poésie Evening. I will buy tickets for Mael and I to go to Modern Dance show.

January is good.

I have not sent any NEW YEAR'S CARDS and we probably won't this year.

LOVE, PEACE AND MORE PEACE are my wishes for the world.

TRANSITIONS

I have started multiple posts trying to tell what happened in the past month. But you know, there is too much. From the selling of our first house, to the packing, sorting, storing, getting a container shipped, a truck driven to California, more packing for three months of transitions:
- from the selling of our house to a Portland borrowed apartment, a road trip to California, staying in California for two weeks,  leaving for France, staying in Rouen (with one day trip to grenoble to sign papers for our new apartment)

There were a lot of :
- farewell parties, more good byes to friends, final days of work, good byes to long time students and families of students.
- a lot of papers scanning and translating for several apartment applications and shipment organization,
- some crazy shocking US passports incidents that made impossible to use them and added so much stress a week before leaving Portland,
- some stomach flu(s), fevers, stress, strep throat and jet lag combined, sleep deprivation, insomnia, back ache,
- more paperwork, more packing, more sorting, more saying good byes to family and friends,
- more bills and last day in Portland parking tickets (I had paid but kept the receipt in my wallet because you know, I was not tired)

There also were :
- relaxing California,
- wonderful family and kiddos/cousins, family reunion,
- laughs and smiles and great memories made,
- the "POOL" (Mael's favourite) and the "BALL" & "BUCKET" (Maceo's favourite)
- books read, World cup matches watched, childhood memories shared and sorted,
- many birthdays including Maceo turning 2 (also not spending a birthday or major national holiday in an hospital)
- more smiles and laughs and memories... and SUN.

Now the real stuff: THANK YOU !!!!! Thank you to all of you out there far and close, further and closer. We are lucky to have such an incredible amount of friends, family and friends of family looking out for us and our boys.
Thank you to the recent emails I have had or reach out from expats who are asking how we are doing.
Your messages in the past three days have actually made a difference because not only was I dealing with feeling completely exhausted, sick and overwhelmed but I took a train to Grenoble, got there, sign the papers for an apartment, visited it briefly, saw where the park was, where the school was, saw how close everything was, walked everywhere and took a train back to Rouen. Although, all of this seem cool (I really like that we are going to walk everywhere), I was in a state of complete doubt and culture shocked. I was wondering what I was doing, breathing deeply, almost crying and trying not to swallow (because my tonsils which I don't have were on fire). The three hours in Grenoble were a little like hell. I don't want to scare my sister. She is going to feel bad. To reassure anyone, I think I would have felt that way anywhere.
I felt like I was getting assaulted by my own culture. I could hear everything that was saying anywhere, I could smell smoke from cigarettes more than I have in years, I could not find any food that actually could be good (I was sick too, remember).
I felt that I would be bringing my family in a place that they were going to hate (not Grenoble per say), just any French cities. This was real French life, you know with dirty sidewalks and advertisements but I could see deeper in all of these things because I know, I can see what's hiding under all of it.
Yes, that's how I felt. No, no, it's not only that I was tired and sick. That's always how I feel when I come back except before I was not staying, I could decide to not care.
I got home, I hugged Mael who was sleeping deeply. I slept a little. I talked to Adam the day after via skype (I felt better already). I went to see the doctor. I slept well for the first time. I started taking care of things that needed to be taken care of. Receiving messages from expats reaching out to ask how I was feeling was the best. Because THEY KNOW. They know what it is to come back to a place you know unconsciously, that you cherish because it's where you are from, it's what you are made of, but you left, whatever your reasons, you left and you never come back the same, you never come back home. They did not say much, they mostly asked. But they did not have to say much. It felt great to feel understood.
10 years in the US went fast. 10 years, here, now, seems that I have left an eternity ago. I feel old and older. Nothing is the same and so much is.
So when I have been asked : are you excited? I always said yes, because it's what you should say but I always added "scared" too. Now I am going to be asked : "So are you happy you are back?" and I am going to say yes, because that's what I should say but I am going to add "and scared" too because it's still how I feel.
We are still in transition and all my efforts right now is to get us ready to be in that apartment in a couple of weeks, to make it our own and to make Mael comfortable because I am going to have to talk to you about him. He does not speak much but when he opens up, there is some laughs and some heart aches and some complete wonderful things he says because he is 5 and 1/2 and that the important things to him sometimes are not what I think.

I want to say thank you to my boys for being such incredible troopers. They are always calm and happy (90% of the time). They are so easy going even in the storm. They never cease to amaze me that way. I want to say thank you to Adam for being so supportive and so excited about this new part of our life. Also, for wanting to do it (ask him, he always was the one pushing to do it, he always knew we would) so he can understand what it is, so our boys can experience their other culture.

Thank you to Marc and Libby for the apartment in Portland, it was priceless.
Thank you to John and Kathy for taking care of sick Maceo and driving a truck for us, hosting us so many days.
Thank you to Sue and John for the wonderful daily pool visits we had.
Thank you to all our friends for taking, buying, helping with stuff.

MERCI!

PACKING-SHIPPING-STORING

(Version française demain)

In the last few weeks, I have been often asked: "So, you are ready?"
My answer is always : No, well, that's not too bad...I think so... but not really... (inside: it's fine, no, what.... aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh)

The process started months ago by purging, purging, purging. It was not too bad because we live in a small house and we started to try to own less over the years. Still, with me as a teacher and more over a theatre teacher, a whole shelf in the garage was belonging to me and Adam has a lot, a lot, a lot of tools, bike stuffs and making wine stuffs.

Our process was having grocery paper bag by the back exit. I would fill them of things in the house that we did not need anymore or did not want to keep (I guess that's the same thing). Then, I would bring it to the garage and when there were too many bags, I would sort those out to put any items where it belonged: donate, keep, sell, France, California, we don't know pile.

So we organized the shelves in the garage accordingly. It was allowing me to make a first survey of what to ship overseas and to make the shelves and the ground more accessible.

For weeks, Adam and I went back and forth on what to do. We were never on the same page at the same time. One thing, we agreed quickly was : no furniture. All our furniture is pretty much Ikea and nothing is worth the $10 000 container that would transport our furniture for three months.
So one of us would say: "Let's just not bring anything." and then, "yes, but what about Mael's toys and books, we are not going to bring all of them but that's important to him." "Ok, but let's only do that. yes, but what about this and this." " Is all of this, worth $3000" and so on...
Eventually, we did decide on shipping the content of a lift van.

So you contact two or three companies that you have researched. They send someone for a visual survey and they tell you from what you show them what type of container and how much it will cost. At this point, you had to have made decisions and sorted out things so you can be close to accurate.

So a Lift Van it is. $3000. 4(width) x 7(length) x 7(height). Try it. Visualize the dimensions and then go around your house and garage and fill it.

Our stuff will go to England and then travel down by truck to Grenoble. It will take approximately 3 months. I am guessing we will get our stuff by the end of September (if we ever get an apartment but that's another story)

Now, we are also going to store a few things in California. Thank you John and Kathy.

Last week, people asked me: "So, you are packing?" And I was mmmh, no, not yet. I mean, the company is packing so we are sorting... and then, I start panicking... should we start packing? we are busy getting rid of stuffs so I guess in our case, that's like packing. We are packing away...

But here we are, getting so close, it's almost tangible. I have to pack for the next three or four months including medical records and other paperwork (thank you usb key). And this time, unlike, 10 years ago, I also pack for two very young munchkins...

(Version française demain)

FOR SALE… OUR HOUSE/ LA VENTE DE NOTRE MAISON

Nous avons acheté notre maison, notre première maison, en décembre 2009. (Maël avait un an et c’est toute sa vie. Il appelle le parc du quartier “MON parc”.)

Je me souviendrais toujours du jour où on a signé les papiers, le 23 décembre. Je pensais à quel point nous avions été stressés ces derniers mois et maintenant, on signait une montagne de papiers nous rappelant que nous étions en train de nous endetter comme jamais et je me rappellerai toujours du moment où j’ai vu le calendrier estimé des paiements parce que tout à coup, j'ai cru avoir une crise cardiaque. 

Il y a eu des moments pendant lesquels nous n’étions pas sûrs que nous étions capables de nous occuper d’une maison (temps et argent). Maintenant, il est clair que nous avons réussi et que c’était une bonne décision. On adore notre maison mais il n’y a vraiment aucune raison de la garder. La louer serait stressant et ennuyeux à gérer à distance et nous ne désirons pas la garder pour notre retour éventuel. Elle est petite (une des raisons pour lesquelles nous l’aimons à vrai dire) et ça marche avec deux enfants en bas âge mais quand j’imagine deux adolescents sur le canapé dans le salon, j’ai envie de partir vite. Nous ne désirons pas une très grande maison mais une pièce supplémentaire serait utile pour plus tard.

Tout est allé très vite. La maison était officiellement en vente le 5 mai et deux, trois jours plus tard, nous avions plusieurs offres dont une plus élévée que le prix demandé. C’était bizarre de décider de choisir l’offre la plus élévée sans savoir qui allait vivre ici. C’était étrange d’imaginer plusieurs personnes (voisins inclus) visitant la maison pendant notre absence.

En avril, nous avions fait des changements pour rendre la maison plus neutre et plus désirable. Changer l’emplacement de certains meubles, des nouveaux rideaux (8 $ sur Amazon), enlever toutes les photos et tous les dessins des enfants. Cela nous a obligé à trier, stocker, donner beaucoup de choses en avance. On avait déjà commencé le processus durant les mois précédents mais il y a toujours plus. D’une certaine manière, ceci nous a aidé à réaliser que nous vendions notre propriété et que par conséquent, la maison ne nous appartenait déjà plus.  

C’est très bien que tout se soit passé facilement et rapidement parce que garder la maison présentable et propre avec deux enfants, c’est du boulot! Tous les jouets et jeux que nous avons stocker dans le garage et donner n’ont pas manqué aux enfants et cela est une bonne transition pour eux. Et c’est plus rapide à ranger. C'est fou, mais c’est bien d’avoir cette expérience aussi pour nous pousser à réfléchir à tout ce que l’on possède (prochain article à ce sujet).

L’inspection et l’estimation ont eu lieu. Quelques travaux de rien du tout à faire. La date officielle de signatures est fixée au 16 juin.

Portland nous traite bien ce printemps niveau météo. C’est parfois un peu triste de penser qu’on ne sera pas là cet été pour profiter de notre jardin mais en même temps, nous avons la chance de pouvoir en profiter un maximum en ce moment.

À partir du 16 juin, la maison ne sera plus notre maison. On aura la maison encore une semaine pour trier et gérer le déménagement mais nous resterons ailleurs. À partir du 22 juin, nous serons en route pour la Californie.

Quitter notre maison, c’est un peu comme finir un bon livre. Ça donne envie de ralentir la lecture parce que l’on sait qu’on touche à la fin mais, en réalité, on est si heureux de l’avoir lu. 

PROCHAIN ARTICLE : L’envoi d’effets personnels de l’autre côté du monde. 

We bought our house, our first house, in December 2009. (Maël was 1 year old and it’s all his life. He calls the neighborhood park “MY park”.) I will always remember signing the paperwork on December 23rd, thinking how much stressed we had been in the past few months and now we were signing a mountain of paperwork just so we could have debts, a lot, an amount that made me choke when I saw the payments schedule. 

There were moments, where we wondered if we could keep it up (time and finances), but it was such a good decision. We love it.  There was no reason for us to keep it. Renting it would be a pain and stressful from so far away and we won’t come back to it. It is small and we knew when we bought it that we will outgrow it at some point. Imagining two growing boys in this house, and I want to run away. I don’t want a much bigger house but as a family, but an additional room seems fair. 

Things are going fast. The house was on the market on the 5th, and two-three days later we had five offers and one was much more than what we were asking. It was weird to decide to just go with the best financial offer not thinking about who would be in the house. It was weird to imagine people walking in and out for several days, even neighbors visiting our house while we were not here. 

In the month of April, we made some changes to make the house more neutral, less personal, more marketable. We changed furniture, bought new curtains ($8 on amazon), removed all personal kids art or pictures. That made us work really hard at moving a lot of things out of the house (we had already started the process in the past several months) but also made us realize that we are selling our property and that in some ways, it already does not belong to us anymore. 

Also, it is nice that it is going fast because keeping a house clean ready to be visited with two young children requires some work. Kids actually don’t play with much, and we don’t have much to put away. It’s crazy. It’s nice. It makes us reflect on our possession. (Next Blog entry)

Inspection and appraisal have happened. A few things need to be done but nothing major and closing is scheduled for the 16th of June.

Portland has been treating us very well weather wise lately and hanging out in our nice yard makes me feel sad that we won’t be here this Summer but also happy that we get to enjoy it. 

By June 16th, the house will not be our house (we will have the house for a week while we deal with things though we will be staying somewhere else for a week).

By June 22nd,we will be on our way to California.

Leaving our house is like finishing a good book. It makes you want to slow down because you are almost at the end and you don’t want it to be finished but, really, you are so happy to have read it. 

NEXT BLOG ENTRY: SHIPPING OVERSEAS and the immediate minimizing effect

DESTINATION >>>>>>>>> 38000

DESTINATION >>>>>>>>>>> 38000

Ok, j'ai menti. J'allais écrire à propos de la vente de la maison mais Adam et moi avons regardé le calendrier et dans exactement 1 mois, nous quitterons Portland, donc il semble qu'il est grand temps que je révèle où nous partons.
Quand nous avons finalement réalisé que nous étions en train de saisir l'occasion qui se présentait (vivre en France), nous avons grimacé... enthousiasme, peur, doute, tout... puis nous avons réalisé que puisque Adam allait travailler pour sa compagnie à distance, nous étions libre de choisir où! Liberté formidable, cadeau empoisonné puisque tout à coup, nous avions trop de choix. 

ALORS OÙ? 

De Rouen à Carcassonne, en passant par Bordeaux et Toulouse, sans oublier Lyon et retour à Rennes et Nantes, ah oui, et Grenoble alors? La France est grande, grande et aussi grande que la Californie. Ca permet de relativiser. 
ET NON, nous ne déménageons pas à Paris. Trop grand, trop cher et pas envie d'élever mes enfants là. J'ai un souvenir de ma vie à Paris inoubliable et je considérerais y vivre si je pouvais récupérer l'appartement au 33, rue des Apennins. Non, vraiment, je le considérerais. Amis parisiens, je viendrai enfin vous rendre visite! 

ALORS OÙ? 

Lorsque je pensais à déménager en France un jour, je me disais que je voudrais aller dans le Sud-Ouest. Et du Nord-Ouest au Sud-Ouest, je connais des personnes dans plusieurs villes:  Rennes, Nantes, Bordeaux, Toulouse, Carcassonne and Albi. 

Bordeaux : Ma meilleure amie y vit avec son australien de mari et leurs deux garçons. Ils se sont rencontrés en Afrique du Sud, trois mois avant que je ne rencontre Adam au Swaziland.  Vraiment, une histoire de fous. C'est grâce à leur rencontre que j'ai rencontré Adam. Oui, Daniel, je l'admets publiquement. Carine et moi avons changé nos projets de voyage. On devait aller en Afrique de l'Ouest après son retour mais elle devait revoir son bel australien et le reste est connu. Ils ont deux garçons, ils ont vécu en Australie et sont revenus en France il y a quelques années. Vraiment, s'installer dans le coin a tout son sens. Et il y a le vin et les cannelets... je pourrais juste vivre de ça. 

Toulouse : ça a l'air d'être la ville idéale. On connaît aussi une famille biculturelle venant de Portland. C'est une bonne idée. C'est bien placé par rapport à tous les gens auprès de qui je voudrais me rapprocher.

Carcassonne: Je suis tombée amoureuse de la région de l'Aude (pas ma soeur) en 2007. Une de mes amies d'enfance habitent là avec son mari à l'accent de là-bas et ses deux garçons. Mon autre amie d'enfance, sa soeur, habite dans le coin avec leurs deux filles. Ils ont migré de Rouen au Sud et ce sont les deux personnes qui sont comme de la famille, mes plus anciens souvenirs sont remplis d'elles.
Cassoulet, Rugby et Foie Gras, que demande le peuple? 

Le Sud-Ouest, tu as tant de choses qui m'attire et pourtant, une chose nous a refroidi: les transports. Déménager aussi proche de ma famille sans savoir si cela est temporaire ou permanent et pourtant être éloignés. Parce que en faisant l'équation d'avoir mes parents en Normandie et mon frère (et sa famille) et ma soeur à l'est. Ça ne colle pas. Ce sera compliqué de se voir. Les options transports EST-OUEST sont pas super pour prévoir de faire des allers-retours fréquents. 

Rouen: Mon coeur y est. Ma ville de naissance, où j'ai grandi. On a pensé à Rouen. C'était logique. Tant de connexions familiales, amicales, professionnelles et puis la pluie, la pollution, tout les points négatifs et positifs. Mais logique, çà l'était au point où çà ne l'était plus non plus. On y a vraiment pensé, on avait même décidé que c'était la ville mais non... C'est bien comme ça. 

Lyon: Mon frère, sa famille, les cousins pour nos garçons, ville sympa mais non, trop grande. TGV Paris/Rouen-Lyon en 4 heures, c'est cool mais non, trop grand, désolés. 

Grenoble: Ma soeur, 1h30 de Lyon, les Alpes, la Suisse, L'Italie, le Sud de la France. Maire vert, une nouvelle ville vierge pour moi et Adam. Ville cycliste. Géographiquement bien placé. Une ville qui rappelle Portland, m'a-t-on dit. Temps et pollution, il y a toujours des négatifs quelque-part. 

GRENOBLE, TU AS GAGNÉ!!!!!

Département: Isère

Région: Rhône-Alpes

Zip Code: 38000 

Adresse: encore à déterminer.

DESTINATION >>>>>>>>>>> 38000

All right I lied. I was going to write about our house being on sale but as we are getting closer and closer, it seems that I need to write about where we are going!!!!

When we first realized that we actually were going to jump on this opportunity, we were stunned. WE were excited, full of doubts and then we realized that we had the freedom to ask ourselves the question: “But where in France?” 

So where? 

From Rouen to Carcassonne, from Bordeaux to Toulouse, through Lyon and back up to Rennes or Nantes to Grenoble…. France is big. As big as California… And no, we are not moving to Paris. Too big, too expensive, raising my kids in Paris, no thank you. I have loved my life in Paris, I would consider it if my apartment  “33, rue des Apennins” was free. No kidding, I would seriously consider it! 

So where?

When I was thinking of where I would live, I always thought southwest of France. And going from Northwest to Southwest, I have friends in many places : Rennes, Nantes, Bordeaux, Toulouse, Carcassonne and Albi. 

Bordeaux : my best friend lives there with her Aussie husband and two boys. They met in SouthAfrica in April and 3 months later, Adam and I were meeting in Swaziland. Yes, it’s true.  That’s because they met (yes, Daniel, I publicly admit you are the reason Adam and I met) that Carine and I changed our travel plans (we were supposed to visit West Africa) and the rest is history. They have two boys, they lived in Australia for a little while and they are now in Bordeaux. Oh, and did I mention wine and cannelets? 

Toulouse : it seemed like the perfect city. We know a bicultural family from Portland, OR. It was a good idea, making us be not too far from all the places in the Southwest, I wanted to be close to. 

Carcassonne: I fell in love with the Aude Department (not my sister) in 2007. One of my childhood friend live there with her two boys. Her sister and her family don’t live too far. They all migrated from Rouen to the South. They are the friends who have always be there in our family for as long as I can remember things. They equal happy childhood memories and more.

There is Rugby, Cassoulet, Foie gras, etc... What else could I ask?

Southwest, you have so much for you but transportation-wise, it sucks! To get to the East part of France is not great! That was it! And considering, my parents are in the North and my siblings in South-East, it just does not make sense. We will visit our friends! But for Maël and Maceo, we wanted some people they know best in France to be closer. 

Rouen: You have my heart. You are my home from before. We thought of you. Really, many times, going back to you, again and again. What a logical place to be. Friends and family, connexions, pollution, rain, all of that with all the negative and positive… What a logical place to not be too. We considered you so many times, we were even decided at some point.

Lyon: My brother, his family, our boys’ cousins… yes, but no, too big. Can't, too big. 4 hours from Paris/Rouen by train, pretty good, but too big. Sorry.

Grenoble: My sister, 1 hour 30 by train from Lyon, the alps, Switzerland, Italy, 4 hours from the South. Green city mayor, A new place, for me AND for Adam. Best city for biking. Geographically perfect. A Portland feel as many told me. Weather and pollution: we shall see, there are negatives, everywhere.

GRENOBLE, YOU WON!!!!!!!

Département: Isère

Région: Rhône-Alpes

Zip Code: 38000 

Address: TBD

Questions et Blog

First of all: Thank you to my friends and family to be so supportive of the new adventure we have started. 

To clarify things, even though, it seems that I am worried, or scared, there is no doubt in our minds that we know it’s the right thing to do at this moment and that we know we will be fine no matter what. By writing this blog, I am not looking for reassurance, I am simply documenting our experience so it helps others understand what it means and imply to do what we do. Also, I am writing this thinking that it can answer questions that explain why we are doing this. It is also a way for me to reflect on our experience. I have always been curious by psychology in relation to expatriation and linguistics.

What does changing languages, countries, cultures imply? For yourself, for your husband or wife, for your children and for your extended family. There are as many answers as there are individuals. It will depend of so many factors. So, my remarks will be general and subjective at the same time. 

To follow this week: FOR SALE… OUR HOUSE.

Tout d’abord: Merci à ma famille et amis de leur soutien durant cette nouvelle aventure qui se développe.

Je voudrais aussi clarifier une chose: même s’il semble que je sois inquiète dans mes messages, nous n’avons pas le moindre doute quant à la décision que nous avons prise de partir. Nous savons que tout ira bien quoiqu’il arrive. En écrivant ce blog, je ne cherche pas à être rassurée, j’explore la situation en long et en large pour aider ceux qui me lisent à comprendre où nous en sommes, peut-être même à répondre à certaines questions. J’ai toujours été intéressée par le sujet de l’expatriation et de certaines questions linguistiques, surtout en relation à la psychologie. Ce blog, c’est aussi ça.

Qu’est-ce que ça implique de partir? Qu’est-ce que ça implique de changer de pays, de culture, de langue? Pour moi-même, pour le/la conjoint(e), pour les enfants. Il y a autant de réponses que d’individus. Il y a tant de facteurs à prendre en considération. Par conséquent, mes remarques seront générales et personnelles en même temps.

A lire plus tard cette semaine: LA VENTE DE NOTRE MAISON.

La nouvelle est publique / The news is out there

That's it. We have told pretty much everyone that we are leaving the country. (If you are discovering it now, sorry, we are really trying to keep it together)
So many questions to answer to people.
So many explanations to give.
So many questions we have and that you may have and for which we don't have any answer yet...

The whole experience is really interesting, overwhelming, nerve wrecking, bitter-sweet... I don't know where to start.
As I am writing all of this post, I feel something in my throat, it's tight, my eyes ...
the screen is blurry...
I take a deep breath...

In August 2004, I was leaving my home, my home-country to come to Portland because I had no doubt that I had to be with Adam. I had found a job here in Portland. I left my family and friends, my job(s) and my culture, 27 years of fully-lived life there. Leaving was easy somehow. Living in the US was easy and not easy. Some expatriation are harder than others, some really difficult. Mine was not the hardest, but still, NO expatriation is easy.

10 years later, in June-July 2014, I will be leaving my home, my family and friends, my job(s) and my adopted-culture. In 10 years, I have grown professionally in a way that I would not have been able to in France. I became American. I became a wife and a mother.

I am moving a family of 4 and with 10 years of American life.

Everything is going to be fine. I know that, there is no doubt, but it does not mean that I don't have panic attack from time to time.

On top of living our regular busy life, there are a billion of things to do and think about, and I am not talking about emotions to deal with...

Next posts : 
The full story of Why?
BUT Where?
Why again?
What? So many what: for, with, etc...
Why not?....


Ça y est. Nous avons finalement annoncé la nouvelle à tout le monde. Si vous l'apprenez seulement maintenant, désolée. Nous essayons vraiment de garder la tête hors de l'eau.
Tellement de questions auxquelles répondre. 
Tellement d'explications à donner. 
Tellement de questions que nous nous posons auxquelles nous n'avons pas encore de réponses...

L'expérience en elle-même est très intéressante, enrichissante, bouleversante, douce et amère... Je ne sais pas où commencer.

A l'écriture de ces lignes, je sens une boule monter dans ma gorge, elle se coince, mes yeux piquent, l'écran devient flou... Je prends une grande respiration...

En août 2004, je quittais mon pays natal et ma maison, pour venir à Portland parce que je n'avais aucun doute sur le fait que je devais être avec Adam. J'avais trouvé un travail ici. J'ai quitté ma famille et mes amis, mes travails et ma culture, 27 ans de vie pleinement vécue. Partir n'était pas si difficile. Vivre aux Etats-Unis était facile et moins parfois. Certaines expériences d'expatriation ou d'immigration sont plus difficiles que d'autres. Certaines sont mêmes très difficiles. La mienne ne faisait pas partie des plus difficiles mais tout de même, une chose est sûre, aucune expatriation n'est facile. 

10 ans après, en juin-juillet 2014, je quitterai ma maison, ma famille et amis, mes travails et ma culture d'adoption. En 10 ans, je me suis épanouie professionnellement d'une manière à laquelle je n'aurais pas pu en France. Je suis devenue américaine. Je me suis mariée et je suis devenue mère.

Je pars avec une famille de 4 et j'emmène 10 ans de vie américaine avec moi. 

Tout va bien se passer. Je le sais, il n'y pas de raison. Cependant, cela ne veut pas dire que je ne sens pas des montées d'anxiété de temps à autre. 

En plus de vivre notre vie normale avec boulot et tout, et tout, il faut penser et gérer un million d'autres choses pour les mois à venir... et je ne parle même pas de l'émotionnel...

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